I was hesitant to do two book postings in one day, but this cannot wait. This is the second best book ever made.It’s just so…glorious.
via jamieonline
Nuff said.
I just came across this article about a new book by Dan Abrams. Without even reading the book, I can tell you it is the best book in the history of books. What is it, you ask? It’s called Man Down: Proof Beyond a Reasonable Doubt That Women Are Better Cops, Drivers, Gamblers, Spies, World Leaders, Beer Tasters, Hedge Fund Managers, and Just About Everything Else
Boom! WINNING!
Here are some highlights from the article:
The evidence is clear that women have a better sense of smell. In one study, researchers questioned whether men or women be better able to smell sweat behind fragrances, and women were fooled far less. But also they have a better sense of taste, and can apply it to just about anything. Taste is based on smell, as well as the number of taste buds a person has, and women are more likely to have a greater number of more-sensitive taste buds. And it’s not just beer that they’re better at tasting, but wine as well.
Finally, I have a scientific reason to drink wine!
I was most surprised at how conclusive the evidence was for the fact that women tolerate pain better. They endure more pain throughout their lives, in more bodily areas and with greater frequency, according to researchers at the University of Bath.
So dudes, stop sniveling every time your tummy hurts. Ours hurt worse.
Women were found to be less corruptible as cops. In both Lima, Peru and Volgograd, Russia where police corruption was a major issue, the governments campaigned to hire more women cops. There’s another study that women are more effective as political leaders than men. It suggests, we’d be a better country if there were more women in the highest echelons of politics.
Hmmm, maybe I should have voted for Hillary.
Can you just imagine if women ran the world from the beginning? We would have this shit on lock! No joke. The world would be way awesomer.
Women of the world, it is time to rise up! Oh, wait, that movement already happened. I guess I will just settle for my boyfriend to admit that I’m right. All of the time. Forever.
(note: I made this title because it says I will get more blog hits with a title like this)
Have you ever asked someone what they like to do for fun, and they’re like “Omg, I’m a total foodie. I just loooove food”? Well, I hate that person. Seriously, everyone says it these days. It’s like saying you like music or breathing. You know what a-hole? Eating isn’t a hobby and it doesn’t make you unique! Who the F doesn’t like food?! It’s food. We all eat it. We all enjoy it. The only people who don’t enjoy it have TLC specials about how much toilet paper or couch cushion they eat.
The whole point of this little rant is a segue for me to talk about how much I love food. Seriously. I love it like it was a person. And I am always hungry. People think I’m crazy because as I am eating my dinner, I will be talking about what I will be eating for breakfast the next day. I can have eaten a 5-course meal and be having a food baby, but I still want to talk about the great dinner I’m going to have the next night. Also, if I don’t eat I get mean. My bf calls it hangry. I use it as an excuse a lot. “No, I’m not being a bitch, I’m just hungry, you idiot! Feed me!”
Today, every time I have eaten, I have thought about the dinner I had a couple nights ago. It was super fabulous delish. A little concoction I came up with myself (and you’ll see, it’s really original and I am pretty amazing for thinking of combining all these ingredients that in no way go together). Oh, and all the ingredients are from Trader Joe’s, so that’s cool.
Delicious Yummy Amazing Easy Pork Tacos
1 garlic and peppercorn marinated pork tenderloin (if you don’t go to trader joe’s, you can get a regular pork tenderloin and just put salt and pepper on it. It will still be good)
1 red bell pepper, thinly sliced
1 white or yellow onion, thinly sliced
olive oil
salt and pepper
1 avocado, sliced
sour cream
corn tortillas
Toss the pepper and onion strips with olive oil and salt and pepper. Put in a glass baking dish and bake at 400 for about 30 min. In the meantime, grill the pork on the grill for about 20-30 min. When done, cover loosely with foil and let sit for about 10 minutes. Thinly slice the pork. Heat corn tortillas. Top with sour cream, avocado, pepper and onion mixture and pork. Stuff in your face.
Did you know that the word foodie was coined in 1981 by Paul Levy and Ann Barr, who used it in the title of their 1984 book The Official Foodie Handbook? It’s true. Wikipedia says so.
WARNING: This is a post that actually has some useful information it.
For a while now, I have been wanting to switch all of my skin care products to organic. I am convinced that one of the reasons there are so many cases of cancer these days is because of all the chemicals we eat, drink, put on our bodies, and surround ourselves with on a daily basis.
For at least the last year I have been giving myself a complex from stressing out about this. I read articles every day and try to keep up on what’s what, but all it does is make me want to live in a cave in the mountains and live off the land in all it’s natural glory. But let’s face it, I love things. I want lots of things. Oh, and I’m also lazy. It’s a lot of f-ing work to go organic. There’s no possible way I could live an all-natural life. And don’t get all preachy and tell me how it’s actually pretty simple. It’s not.
So anyways, I do what I can. Organic food has been my first step. I buy as much as I can organic, especially animal products and produce. But my next venture is into skin care. Every time I put lotion on, I feel like I am rubbing cancer into my face. But guess what. Organic skin products are expensive, yo! I have been putting it off for a year because of commitment issues, but now I’m ready to make the plunge. My first product I got was natural deodorant. I surprised myself by doing this, as I always assumed “natural deodorant” just meant you were a hippie, and I hate hippies. But it’s been a couple months and I’m still not a hippie, so that’s good.
Do you have any idea what they put in unnatural deodorants?! I’m surprised there aren’t more cases of armpit cancer (seriously, look it up. I would tell you here, but as I mentioned earlier, I am lazy). So I went with Tom’s of Maine first because it’s the most readily available. Here’s my advice with that…DO NOT BUY IT! You will stink. It is probably what hippies use. So I did more research online and looked at customer reviews and ended up getting a brand called Avalon Organics. It rocks. I suggest you start using natural/organic deodorant asap, and when you do, you should get this one. And research says that when it comes to natural deodorants, sprays work better. That is all my friends.
I am one of those people who really enjoy Valentine’s Day. I think love is a perfectly good excuse for a holiday. Some people are all, “It’s so much pressure, why can’t you celebrate your love the other 364 days of the year?” Well, idiots, you can. But you can also take one specific day to make sure the people you love know you love them. Because let’s face it, we don’t take the other 364 days to show our love. Also, I like gifts.
Before I got a long-term boyfriend, I built up V day to be such a glorious occasion. “When I finally have a boyfriend on valentine’s day,” I’d say “he’s going to shower me with jewelry and roses. It is going to be magical.” Well, that hasn’t happened. My boyfriend isn’t a big valentine’s day guy. Yeah, he gives me really nice cards telling me how much he loves me (and this year I got a jumbo reese’s heart, which, let’s be honest, is one of the best things you could ever receive. Ever.), but he’s never been big on the gifts. He’s one of those “VD is so much pressure” kind of guys. But I’m used to it now. The first year he didn’t get me anything I was ready to shank someone. But now I know what to expect, so it’s all good.
This year our VD date night consisted of the two of us making a home cooked meal together, which rarely happens. I usually cook. He usually eats. I’ve always wanted us to cook together, so it was a super nice treat. (Hey, that rhymes!!)
We made Artichoke Heart-Stuffed Shells in a Ricotta Sauce. I really enjoyed it. My boyfriend said, “Meh, it’s alright.” But he did thoroughly enjoy the leftovers today.
INGREDIENTS
Shells
18 jumbo pasta shells (approximately half of a 12-ounce box)
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 to 2 tablespoons olive oil, divided
1 large onion, chopped small
12 ounces frozen artichoke hearts, thawed and patted dry
1/4 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup (1 1/4 ounces) finely grated Romano cheese
1/2 cup (1 1/2 ounces) finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
2 large egg yolks
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon salt
Freshly ground black pepper to taste
Sauce
4 tablespoons (1/4 cup) unsalted butter
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 cups whole milk
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 cup ricotta cheese
2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon salt
Freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 tablespoons chopped flat-leaf parsley or fresh basil leaves, for garnish (optional)
PREPARATION
Cook the shells: Bring a large pot of salted water to boil, and cook shells according to package directions. Drain and toss with a teaspoon or two of olive oil, to keep them from sticking.
Make the filling: Melt butter in a heavy 12-inch skillet (or the bottom of the dried-out pot you used to cook your pasta, if you’re into dirtying fewer dishes) and cook it until it turns nutty and brown, stirring occasionally to keep the solids moving on the bottom of the pan. Once it is a nice nutty brown, add 1 tablespoon olive oil, then the onions and cook them until they are lightly brown and caramelized, about 7 minutes. Add the artichoke hearts and cook them until they are softened a bit, about 5 minutes. Add the wine and cook it until it completely disappears.
Remove the pan from the heat and let it cool slightly, before transferring it to the bowl of a food processor. Add both cheeses, the yolks, lemon juice, salt and black pepper and pulse in the food processor until well chopped but still retains a little texture.
Make the sauce: Melt the butter in a medium saucepan (or the wiped out pot you made the artichoke filling in, if you’re into spending less time scrubbing pots) over medium-high heat. Once melted, add the flour all at once and whisk it until smooth. Add the milk, a small glug at a time, whisking constantly so no lumps form. Once the mixture has reached a batter-like consistency, you can begin adding the milk in larger pours at a time, whisking the whole time. Once all the milk is added, add the garlic and bring the sauce to a boil, stirring frequently. Once boiling, it will immediately begin to thicken. Reduce the heat to medium and simmer for two to three minutes before stirring in the ricotta, lemon juice, salt and black pepper. Adjust salt, pepper and lemon to taste.
Assemble the dish: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Pour two cups of sauce (you’ll have about 2 1/2 cups total) into the bottom of a 9×13 baking dish. Scoop one tablespoon of artichoke filling inside each cooked shell; this will fill it but still allow the sides to close and neatly hold the filling intact while it bakes. Nest each pasta shell in the sauce, seam up. Dollop a spoonful of the remaining sauce over each shell. Cover the dish with foil and bake it for 30 minutes, then remove the foil and bake it for a final 15 minutes. Sprinkle with parsley or basil, if using, and serve immediately.
We also made roasted cauliflower. As for the presentation, it was 10:30pm, what do you want from me?
Cooking!
Started with a great Syrah and peppered eye round and parmesan from whole foods
Being the awesome girlfriend that I am, I got him a bunch of IPAs, his fave beer. Then he ruined it by being at the store the same time as me and saw what I was getting him. He was supposed to find out by walking in the room and seeing above arrangement with a card. I lost the card. (I also got him a journal to keep his home brewing notes in) Yay me!
I’ve always assumed that I will get married someday, I just never knew when. Well, it’s a good thing I haven’t gotten married yet, because Anthropologie just started doing weddings.
If anyone I know uses Anthro for their wedding before I do, I will kill you. Literally. I will murder you.
My bridesmaids better be really skinnny cause those bitches will be wearing this dress. Oh, and they better start making lots of money cause it costs $1,000
And they do headpieces!! I might buy one these for reasons other than a wedding.
One of the stats you can find out about your blog is what search terms people have entered into a search engine to find your blog. This doesn’t mean they were looking for your blog per se, they just happened across it after typing in their search term.
Well, today someone was searching for “rape housewife apron,” and my blog came up. While I am flattered they clicked on my link and checked out my blog, I am a little bothered by the fact they were searching for “rape housewife apron.” What exactly were they looking for? Do I want to know?
Throughout the years I have often found myself wishing I was shallow enough to marry a man for money. I really think I would make a good lady of leisure. There was a time where I was all “oh no way, I am independent, I could never do that, I’d get so bored, blah blah f**king blah.” Then I grew up and realized I could roll that way for sure. I mean, since I work freelance, I spend a lot of time unemployed anyways, and the only bad thing about unemployment is the lack of money. So that leads me to believe that if I had a ton of money and didn’t have to work, I would be just fine. Just think of all the things you could do! Take classes, make art, start a foundation, socialize puppies and kittens…drink wine at 2pm!! (Guess which one of these things I did most often during this last round of unemployment. Hint: it wasn’t starting a foundation.)
These bitches would be my fellow ladies of leisure and we would dress like this. Every. Day.
Unfortunately, I’ve never been attracted to anyone with ass loads of money, so therefore, I have to work. Even when I like my work, I hate work. Like, it literally makes my blood boil when my alarm goes off in the morning. But then I realize how lucky I am to be with a man who truly loves me, and whom I love, and all of a sudden waking up at 5am, being constantly surrounded by morons, and making shitty tv, is all worth it. I guess I’ll pull my own weight if it means I can keep my Shark 🙂
My Shark. This is what we would do every day if we were rich. For now we will just do it every other day.
Tune in tomorrow to see my awesome v-day present for him (I can’t post today because he totally loves and supports me and reads this all the time)
My fourth favorite thing about the Super Bowl this year was this moment…
She looks really desperate.
When this historic moment happened, everyone in the room was sure it would be the talk of the town the next day, and yet I have heard nothing nor seen anything on the internet about it. Until this post on one of my fave blogs Warming Glow
To be a good housewife, you must enjoy football. Or at least pretend to enjoy football. I’m lucky on two levels…1) I actually do enjoy football, and 2) my man-love can go a whole season without watching it and be a-okay (he also doesn’t like video games. Jealous?).
Here are the top 3 reasons why I loved the big game this year:
1) It reconfirmed why I loathe the Black Eyed Peas
I have been waiting for a reason to post about how much I hate the Black Eyed Peas, and now the time has finally come. Oh holy day. I will only scratch the surface of my hatred, otherwise we would be here all day. Aside from the fact that their music is awful and they are crazy (I have interviewed two of them, and trust me, they are crazy), the main reason Imma be hatin’ is Fergie. I get when really attractive people are famous despite their lack of talent, but Fergie is neither attractive nor talented, so I fail to see how she became so popular.
You know how when you say a word so many times, it just doesn’t seem real anymore? That’s how I feel about Fergie after looking at so many pictures of her. She just looks like a mythical beast to me now. And didn’t she pee her pants once?
Yes. Yes she did.
2) The Puppy Bowl
This is my favorite part of super bowl Sunday every year. It is basically what my heaven looks like, minus the copious amounts of red wine. Here are my MVPs (most valuable puppy…snap!)
Charlie
Chih
River
3) Rape Jokes
When the quarterback is this guy, there’s no way you can’t make at least 10 rape jokes during the game. At least.
Hunting the Housewife 